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Great Beer Quotes

  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    -Benjamin Franklin-
  • For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.
    -William Shakespeare-
  • You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    -Frank Zappa-
  • He was a wise man who invented beer.
    -Plato-
  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    -Dave Barry-

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  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    - Frank Sinatra-
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    -Ernest Hemingway-
  • Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    -Ernest Hemingway-
  • You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
    -Dean Martin-
  • A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
    -W.C. Fields-
  • What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
    -W.C. Fields-
  • Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
    -Anonymous-

Great Beer Quotes

  • Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
    -Oscar Wilde-
  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
    -Tom Waits-
  • 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
    -Stephen Wright-
  • Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
    -Winston Churchill-
  • Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    - Kaiser Wilhelm-
  • I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
    -Dave Barry-
  • An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.
    -Unknown-
  • Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
    -Catherine Zandonella-
  • Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
    -Ambrose Bierce-
  • Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
    -Anonymous-
  • That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.
    -Charles Bukowskoi-
  • People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.
    -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
  • A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.
    -Czech Proverb quotes
  • I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.
    -Greek proverb quotes

Best of Homer Simpson Beer Quotes

  • All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!
    -Homer Simpson-
  • I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Beer... Now there's a temporary solution.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.
    -Homer Simpson-
  • Homer no function beer well without.
    -Homer Simpsons

Family Guy Beer Quotes

  • Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
    Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
  • Lois: You're drunk again.
    Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.