Great Beer Quotes

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-Benjamin Franklin-

 You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.  
-Frank Zappa-

 He was a wise man who invented beer.
-Plato-

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry-

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning,  That's as good as they're going to feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra-
 

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-Ernest Hemingway-

 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway-

 

 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. 
-Dean Martin-  

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
-W.C. Fields-

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? 
-W.C. Fields-

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
-Anonymous-

 Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
-Oscar Wilde-

 I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
-Tom Waits-

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
-Stephen Wright-

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-Winston Churchill-

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. 
- Kaiser Wilhelm-

 I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
-Homer Simpson-

 Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
-Dave Barry-

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout .
-Unknown-

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
-Homer Simpson-

 Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.
-Homer Simpson-

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-Catherine Zandonella-

Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
-Ambrose Bierce-

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
-Anonymous-

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
-Timothy Walsh-

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
-Humphrey Bogart-

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
-David Moulton-

Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew and he wastes lifetime.
-Gordy form ABC Warehouse-

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
-Deep Thoughts, Jack Handy-

Know other beer quotes, anecdotes, or words to live by? Let us know at info@beerfestboots.com