Great Beer Quotes

• Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

  -Benjamin Franklin-

• For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King.

  -William Shakespeare-

• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  -Frank Zappa-

• He was a wise man who invented beer.

  -Plato-

• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  -Dave Barry-

• I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  - Frank Sinatra-

• An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

  -Ernest Hemingway-

• Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

  -Ernest Hemingway-

• You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  -Dean Martin-

• A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

  -W.C. Fields-

• What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

  -W.C. Fields-

• Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.

  -Anonymous-

• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  -Oscar Wilde-

• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

  -Tom Waits-

• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

  -Stephen Wright-

• Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

  -Winston Churchill-

• Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

  - Kaiser Wilhelm-

• I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

  -Dave Barry-

• An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

  -Unknown-

• Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

  -Catherine Zandonella-

• Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  -Ambrose Bierce-

• Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.

  -Anonymous-

• That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

  -Charles Bukowskoi-

• People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.

  -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

• A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure.

  -Czech Proverb quotes

• I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night.

  -Greek proverb quotes

Best of Homer Simpson Beer Quotes

• All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

  -Homer Simpson-

• I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Beer... Now there's a temporary solution.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg.

  -Homer Simpson-

• Homer no function beer well without.

  -Homer Simpsons

Family Guy Beer Quotes

• Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
  Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!

• Lois: You're drunk again.
  Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.