The Greatest Chuck Norris Beer Facts

THE GREAT CHUCK NORRIS BEER WITH TAGLINE

 

  • When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the beer doesn't get him drunk. The beer gets Chuck-Noirrised.
  • Your favorite beer style is whatever Chuck Norris is drinking.
  • The human bitterness threshold is 100 IBU's. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris tastes as much bitterness as he wants.
  • In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
  • If you have 5 beers and Chuck Norris has 5 beers, Chuck Norris has more beer than you.
  • Chuck Norris' favorite beer is Broken Glass.
  • Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick a glass bomber into a 6-pack...of cans!
  • Chuck Norris can boil wort in his bare hands.
  • Chuck Norris rejects Arrogant Bastard. It's just not worthy.
  • Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with DFH 120 IPA
  • Chuck Norris solved the shortage by growing hops from his beard.
  • Chuck Norris pisses 12 bottles of Dark lord a day. That is why it is so scarce. You have to fight him for it or steal it while he sleeps.
  • Chuck Norris can eat hops, barley, yeast, and water and piss Russian Imperial Stout in a matter of minutes.
  • Chuck Norris can open a bottle by looking at it.
  • Chuck Norris can leave a pint of beer on a table for days. If he WANTS it to stay cold and carbonated, it STAYS cold and carbonated.
  • Chuck Norris' Guinness is carbonated with nitroglycerin.
  • When Chuck Norris says he's buying a 6 pack for the game, he's talking about BARRELS.
  • Chuck Norris can roundhouse a 4-pack of DFH 90 Minute IPA into one bottle of 360 Minute IPA.
  • Anyone who pisses off Chuck Norris gets handed a Dead Guy Ale.
  • Chuck Norris thinks Avery Beast isn't hot enough.
  • Chuck Norris can force carbonate with a harsh glance.
  • Chuck Norris can ferment unfermentables.
  • Chuck Norris' table beer is made from the second washing of Charles Bronson.
  • Chuck Norris grinds his grain with his teeth, and boils the wort with his rage.
  • Everyone loved the first batch Chuck Norris brewed. Then he killed them all with a swift roundhouse kick. All went to heaven with no regrets.
  • Chuck Norris has no need for lauter tuns. The grains release the sugars out of fear.
  • Chuck Norris cellars all his beer in his beard.
  • Sam Adams Utopias is actually just Miller High Life tapped through a Randel filled with the beard trimmings of Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris uses 120 minute IPA as a palet cleanser.
  • When Chuck Norris orders a beer, the beer pays him.
  • Chuck Norris is the only person to ever beat Andre the Giant in a drinking contest. And he did it by a two case margin.
  • When Chuck Norris pours a bottle conditioned beer into a glass, the yeast stays in the bottle out of fear.
  • Chuck doesn't use a bottle opener to open his bottles; he just bites the top of the bottle off (then chews AND eats the glass).
  • Chuck Norris knows the location of the Lost Abbey.
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