Great Beer Quotes

  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
  • For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King. - William Shakespeare
  • You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa
  • He was a wise man who invented beer. - Plato
  • Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway
  • Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway
  • You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
  • A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields
  • What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields
  • Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. - Anonymous
  • Work is the curse of the drinking classes. - Oscar Wilde
  • I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits
  • 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright
  • Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
  • Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Wilhelm
  • I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson
  • Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
  • An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout. - Unknown
  • Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella
  • Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. - Ambrose Bierce
  • Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. - Anonymous
  • That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen. - Charles Bukowskoi
  • People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot. - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
  • A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure. - Czech Proverb quotes
  • I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night. - Greek proverb quotes

Best of Homer Simpson Beer Quotes

  • All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson
  • Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
  • Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! - Homer Simpson
  • I've figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats. - Homer Simpson
  • Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs. - Homer Simpson
  • Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink. - Homer Simpson
  • Beer... Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
  • Apu I need a keg and a six pack to hold me until I tap the keg. - Homer Simpson
  • Homer no function beer well without. - Homer Simpsons

Family Guy Beer Quotes

  • Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk! Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
  • Lois: You're drunk again. Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.