Quotes from Beerfest

  • [Wakes up nude next to dead deer] Oh no, not again
  • I wish it were winter, we could make it into ice blocks and skate on it! And then melt it in the springtime and drink it!
  • Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again!
  • They brew 10,000 bottles a day, I take 45 off the assembly line and I'm the ass hole
  • Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!
  • Typical Americans, this is why we don't let you in our beerfest, you get a few drinks in you und you become ze Dirty Harry.
  • You and I are not so different Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But you know what I did? I got over it!
  • I'm better when I'm drunk!
  • How many licks does it take to get to the center?
  • Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!
  • It was ze greatest beer in all ze vorld!
  • Why don't we get you out those wet clothes, and into a dry martini.
  • Nathan Cornwell has just discovered Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Big round of applause people, big round of applause.
  • Oh, I, uh, accidentally walked into a wall... the Berlin Wall...
  • Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: Always bet on black.
  • Yeah, you Americans, why dont you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!
  • I always sleep better with a little sausage in me
  • Phil "Landfill" Krundel: If he had it, why didn't he brew it?
    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Hebrew it?
  • Jan: "Why does the last guy drink out of a shoe?"
  • Pim Scutney: "That's no shoe, that's DAS BOOT!!"
  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Drunken recall. I gave my subjects massive quantities of alcohol and then I taught them things while they were blacked out. When they woke up the next morning, they couldn't remember anything. But when I got them drunk again, they remembered everything that I taught them the night before. I got it published.
    Phil "Landfill" Krundel: Where?
    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: In Maxim Magazine under the title: "E=MC Hammered".
  • Barry Badrinath: It's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
    Landfill: [Interrupting] What's a ZJ?
    Barry Badrinath: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: [Trying to persuade Landfill] I've got $4.
  • Jan Wolfhouse: Sounds like you guys fancy yourselves as drinkers,huh?
    Rolf: Yeah, maybe a little bit, I think we just beat the Irish.
  • Otto: [Refering to Fink] Ya it looks like his head is covered in pubic hair
    Otto: but it's ok it works, ya, cause you've got a dickface.
  • Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
    Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?
  • Barry Badrinath: Hey Todd. About the old girlfriend. Can we bury the hatchet, buddy?
    Todd Wolfhouse: I don't know.
    Barry Badrinath: I mean it was a one night stand, right? I mean she wasn't even that good looking. A real dead fish, right? She just laid there and took it like a plastic fuck doll.
    Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to have MARRIED that plastic fuck doll!
  • Otto: Despite your thievery, we are prepared to buy it from you right now... in cash.
    [opens suitcase of euros]
    Jan Wolfhouse: Big deal. A suitcase full of monopoly money.
    Schlemmer: Come on, those are euros.
    Landfill: What's that, like pesos?
    Otto: That is legal European tender!
    Rolf: I told you we should have brought Deutsch marks.
    Gunter: But they are so hard to find!
  • Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours!
    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore!
    Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.
  • Gunter: He stole it und now instead of Deutschland's greatest beer we merely have fourth best behind Steinemarzen, Rottenburger, und... und...
    Rolf: Und Beck's?
    Gunter: Und Beck's? Ja, UND BECK'S!!
  • Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding-Dang. A high stakes game in some opium den. Turns out, these aren't the types of guys who like to lose. When I beat them, they beat me. They worked me over good. And this is hard to say. They held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass.
    Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!
    Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!
    Great Gam Gam: You and I are not so different, Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But I got over it!


Funny Clips from Beerfest






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